“Brother When will You Marry?”

We were all at choir rehearsals last Saturday and I was seated in the middle role with the tenor brothers singing, chatting with my buddies, stealing glances and doing all other things fun savvy me would do. All was going well until the choir head announced that one of us; a brother will be getting married soon.

I am a young upwardly mobile guy with a good job, a promising career, a nice apartment and all so people think that that is all that is required to get married. Heck! why bother to be sure you are emotionally ready for marriage or not or bother to find someone to marry or even do some soul searching to know whether you even want to get married in the first place. Is marriage meant for everyone? Well, I guess that’s a topic for another day.

The Pressure to marry usually originates from the family. You know, parents taunting you and relatives asking you if nothing is wrong with you and all. Your good friends will understand because they are on your side except they begin to suspect some wrong doing then they will also join in the questioning. As for my family, they are the most understanding people on earth. Either that or they are just patiently waiting for me to exhaust all possible excuses and then they bounce on me and knowing them as well as I do, that is possibly their game plan but even at that instance my mum will not go to the extent of marrying a wife for me or doing any of those funny stuff we see in Nollywood movies.

Off course, I want to get married and soon too I hope. I want to marry my friend and be in ideal relationship. I want to play hide and seek with my wife and play laser tag with my kids. I want to talk my daughter out of the funk of her first breakup with a jar of ice cream and disapprove of all the men in her life because no one will be good enough for her then and when she is ready for marriage I want to give her away with joy. I want to teach my son to be the gentle man that I am and mold him to be a great role model with the help of God. And when all the children (just the boy and the girl I hope) are independent and have left the nest, I want to continue in the close romantic relationship with my wife. These and many many more I wish for my self but you see, you don’t pick wives on the street.

I love my fellow choristers so much and they are like family to me and maybe that’s is why they cannot wait to give me away in marriage to someone who will share with them all the ‘wahala’ I give them. I admit I am not the most gentle chorister there is in the group but they too have it coming most of the time. Mrs Shayo (not real name) insisted I carried her baby throughout rehearsal so that I will ‘begin to have a feel of fatherhood’ can you imagine that? Events like this and the constant request for my wedding date is what I deal with.

The brother in the choir is getting married next year and we are all looking forward to it especially me since i am the best man – a duty I have become a pro at. At least he is out of the list of brothers to be taunted weekly for their wedding dates. Well, I won’t allow it get to me. I shall stay focused and besides behind all the taunting is genuine love and concern for me. They care that is why they ask. That is what keeps me going.