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A Must Read – Guide on Successful Christian Dating

Christian Dating
Young couple holding hands with sun-flare.

Love for God

The golden rule in Christian dating is to love God. Mark 12:30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this [is] the first commandment. KJV.

No one will truly love you if they don’t love God more than they love you. And you will not truly love anyone else if you don’t love God first. God is the Beginning and the Foundation of all things. It becomes difficult to impart this love for God in your children if you don’t have it yourself.

If we focus and spend our strength more on other things like relationship, and not on God, we will definitely not date well. So for a successful dating, we must love God more than we love whoever we want to date.

Date within the faith

2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? KJV

Visiting the church alone does not make one a christian. And not making effort to put sin to death in his/her life does not make one a Christian either. Have you observed his seriousness and willingness to grow in faith through discipleship?

What are the testimonies about him from those around him? Remember you’re looking for who will compliment what you have and help you grow in faith.

Look out for the people who know you best, love you most, and will tell you when you’re wrong. Do not compromise your own beliefs to find a match that may not have same spiritual aim as you.

Get advice from the right people

You do not go to the auto mechanic to inquire about your health. So can you not go to the people outside your faith for advice on dating.

There are elders and other Christians couples you envy their marriages you can go to for advice when you need one. Your tested friends who can tell you the truth no matter how it hurts, are also there to help you.

There could be temptations to seek advice from the internet where non believers and teenager are offering solutions, especially solutions that appeal to what you thought or what you wanted in the first place.

The truth is that we all need people who truly know us and love us, and who want what’s best for us, even when it’s not what we want in the moment. They’re there to assist us.

Use the social media wisely

It’s not advisable to look for them online. It’s a tradition for people to show their best and hide their weaknesses on social media. I’m sure that’s not the best place to go looking for someone to date.

It doesn’t mean that God cannot use the social media. There’s nothing God cannot use. After all, He gave us the mind to think out many inventions, of which social media is one of them. But it’s unlikely one can get petrol in a shopping mall other than at the petrol station.

Any connection on social media should be based on Christian values and it should be made a public knowledge to distinguish the serious ones from the ones who go there to have fun.

Don’t be in a hurry

Being in a hurry will blind you to so many things. Take your time to observe and let it grow. What matters is the quality of the relationship. Quality is not achieved overnight, neither is it achieved in a hurry.

Watch out for lust. Is the connection and what you know about them a true one? Whenever you feel you’re too fast, slow down and double-check yourself.

Being too fast most times may be as a result of lust and not having enough information or interaction. Take it easy and let it grow gradually and naturally.

Being open to a friendship can blossom into something more

Relationships often kick starts from collection of interests, church events, or through discipleship. There are more than enough time to meet during Christian meetings and fellowships. Being in the same group in the Church brings people together.

Interactive sessions expose you to like minds. Friendships start from such places, and it can develop into something serious.

Physical appearance may not be the drive here, but one’s personality, shared interests and spiritual growth. One’s godliness and growth in faith are easily observed during theses moments. And answers to your questions are found in the process of time.

The man should show leadership

Whatever happens, the man has been given the authority to lead. That’s the position God reserved for him. So he should be able to show direction, and lead in the way as it should be when the dating advances into marriage.

Maintain your purity

Christians are allowed to date like others. But here lies the difference between our dating and their dating. Staying sexually pure during dating is common sense for those who hold a high regard of godliness. Avoid all situations that bring both of you together alone indoors.

Dating often isolates us from other Christians in our lives. The closer we become, the more removed we are from other important relationships. 

Resist the temptation. Dating in groups or in public is the best way for Christians to date. Get family and good friends involved, who will raise a flag when the relationship is becoming unhealthy.

Date with the right desire

The primary aim for dating is for marital relationship. Coming together of man and wife is not a sin. It’s ordained by God. Therefore, it’s a right desire to want to come together as husband and wife.

It’s a desire implanted in us by the Creator Himself. Some date just to escape loneliness or boredom. Some others date simply because they feel they’re of age. Dating without the intention to be married is giving yourself over to a wrong desire.

Above image is owned by OnlineForLove.

Kindly share your thought in the comment section below. Thanks and God bless.

Written by Victor Ekong

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