American Christian rapper Lecrae takes an even deeper journey into the Restoration ecosystem with “Self Discovery,” the 6th single released from the album.
During his VEVO Ctrl.At.Home Live Session, filmed at the National Center for Civil and Human Rights in Atlanta, GA, he reflected on the personal restoration journey that had him questioning his faith.
“I went through a mental, emotional, and spiritual breakdown that took me off solid ground. It was on “Self Discovery that I realized that my relationship with God needed to be just that, relational! It really wasn’t my devotion to God that got me where I am, but his devotion to me.”
On “Self Discovery,” Lecrae continues the very personal journey he embarked on two years ago when he discovered through AncestryDNA’s historic research that his grandmother was enslaved at nine years old and was likely taken from the Democratic Republic of Congo.
In a 2018 social post, he shared a scan of the U.S. Census Ledger of “Slave Inhabitants” from a county in Arkansas dated September 25, 1860 which included the names of the slave owners as well as the number of people they enslaved.
On “Self Discovery,” he grasps for an even deeper understanding of his family history, the scars that remain from post-traumatic slave syndrome (P.T.S.S.) and his commitment to break through the inter-generational trauma.
Some of the lyrics shed some light on the struggles he’d had to go through:
“I Got P.T.S.D. running through me from kinfolk…Self-discovery help to uncover me. Help me to understand who I’m supposed to be…and I finally get to understand what a man is, when he at his godliest,” .
“My whole life I wanted him to come rescue me, be a superhero, be ‘daddy’, tell me how to be a man, teach me to tie a tie. I wanted it, but never got it. I could be angry.
But I decided I just want to see this man before he passes and let him know, Hey, you failed but it’s okay. My spiritual Father is helping me turn tragedy and trauma into triumph! If God is big enough to forgive him, then I can do the same.”
Just being a young black man who was fatherless, lived in a disenfranchised community, Lecrae has been restored to understand that his worth and value is not grounded in where he came from or what’s happened to him.
“I’ve been made whole through spiritual Restoration, through my faith in God, and recognize that I have infinite purpose and worth.
Through the process of therapy, friends, and family, I have been restored to a healthier mindset.
To go from that 14-year old kid who dreamed of becoming a business leader, activist, philanthropist, thought leader and influencer in society and culture, is a indication of how I’ve been restored and a testimony to God’s presence in my life.”
If you’re in need of a Restoration or trying to connect the different pieces in your life, pick up the album, book, and watch The Road To Restoration! Follow Lecrae’s Restoration Bible Plan and take a step inside his personal reflection on Restoration where he shares insights on developing deeper intimacy with God in the midst of pain and brokenness.